Beatdowns & Letdowns...<3

[decay;;]

Chapter One.

"I think I'm bleeding," I whispered with a dazed smile as Gerard gripped my hand and pulled me to my feet. Or tried at least - I feel back onto my knees, my small frame aching all over as I giggled stupidly at the spots of crimson blood splattered on the fresh green grass. Gerard sighed and knelt down next to me, watching the teachers send the jeering crowds away. None of them came to help though. I didn't expect them too. They never did.

"You can't go on like this, Frank," He said slowly to me, avoiding my eyes. He knew how I felt about this subject.
I stayed silent, my vision swimming in confusion as I watched the crowd of blue fade into the background blurrily. I felt incredibly cold and warm at the same time - probably the pain mixing with the blood coming from god-knows-where. I figured I must of looked a mess though, because Gerard kept eyeing me sympathetically.

"D'ya wanna go see the nurse?"
"No." I choked out - my throat felt awful. Probably from the hockey stick one of them had hit me round the head with. I was in utter agony - Gerard understood, this happened every day.
"Where you wanna go?"
I stuttered slightly as I gingerly rose to my feet, checking if I'd broken something. My ankle was hurting something chronic but other than that I appeared fine on that front. Gerard reached out an arm to support me.
"I wanna go... to music." I said. He nodded and, with me hobbling along as best I could, we made our slow way to the music department.

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

That sounds like meh old fanfical =)
Teh first one,, in high school,, where they compose I'm Not Okay ((I Promise)) for meh =)
Oh well =)
Cool. MORE.
So Long And Goodnight...
Yazz xoxoxox <333 **sandford park farewells**

[decay;;]

Chapter Two.

"Back a... woah!" Nick exclaimed, knocking over him cymbals as he rushed over to my side, helping me lower myself into a chair as Gerard looked on, hands in pockets searching for some tissues.
"There's blood," Gerard said calmly, stepping over the cymbal and passing the white tissues to him, "Mop him up. Watch his lip."
"My lip's bleeding?" I asked, trying to feel it with my hand, but Nick whipped it away as he pressed tissues against it. I felt my new lipring scrape across my teeth and howled in agony.
"Sorry..." Nick muttered and straightened up.

I stared slowly around the room, my gaze picking out every detail as I dropped into a pool of thoughts. This was by no means the first time I'd sat with my closest friends in agony - pain and rejection was a must for every day. The friends I had were the best I could ask for - yet very few things seemed to keep me going any more. My family isolated me, my classmates attacked me, every week just went in a never ending circle of suffering. It was like, nobody outside our small circle of friends even cared any more. And I didn't understand why.

But I knew I had to stick through it. For the pride, for the pain, for the glory, for boasting rights? No. I just, knew, that if I could manage another year and a half in this place... then maybe, just maybe, I would be able to do anything.
Or maybe I'm just stupid.
Foolish... insecure... misunderstood... in pain?

"Owww!" I screeched, thrashing my arms and pulling my head back as my lip erupted in sudden white hot pain. Gerard and Nick jumped back as I tipped off my chair and fell onto the floor in agony, tears in my eyes as I waiting best I could for the pain to ease.
A click, and the door opened. A pair of white dolly shoes tiptoed into the room, I could see them out of the corner of my eye, and they froze opposite me. They shuffled, and I saw Gerard's converses walk up as their shadows joined. I felt the heat rush to my body as I turned away to hide my face.

"What happened?" Gerard's girlfriend asked in confusion, and I heard her footsteps come closer as she timidly approached me. I tried to discreetly turn away but stopped as I felt her cool hands on my shoulder. They were soft through my clothes, so loving, warm...
"NO!" I screeched, and she jerked her hand away from me as if branded with a hot iron. I heard her take a few steps in to Gerard's arm. Sensing the awkwardness, I muttered, "My shoulder hurts, sorry Amelia."

Nick coughed to break the silence and reached out an arm to help me up, being careful not to touch my 'painful' shoulder. At least Nick understood. I had to hide my feelings from Gerard somehow. If he ever found out, ever, I would be... alone.

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

=O.
Yoo made Gerard haff another girlfriend.
That Frankeh luuuuurrves.
What about teh ME!?!?!?
And YOO!?!?!?!?
And LOUSEY!?!?!?!
WE NEED GERARD, FRANKEH AND MIKEH!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
So Long And Goodnight...
Yazzay xoxoxoxox <3333 **sandford park farewells**

[decay;;]

Chapter Three.

"Come tonight?"
I gulped nervously. Usually I would never give up the opportunity to party with my friends. But this one was a mass-scale party, more of a rave. And raves meant popular people. And me and popular people do not mix.
But I wasn't going to show that level of fear in front of my friends.

I smirked innocently, untucking my shirt and trying not to look them in the eye.
"Sure thing."
Ray patted me on the shoulder, "Awesome!" He grinned. I nodded, keeping up the act. Besides, a party couldn't be that bad.
Could it?

"Watch out for yourself," Gerard muttered as I broke away from our group in front of the school gates. It was 10 past 4 and school had finally finished for the week - yet I didn't feel like celebrating my Friday night. I just wanted to get out back into the dark confinements of my mothers basement, with my shitty broken guitar and a handful of bandmates.

Mom never did mind when I had band practice. I suppose she thought it was a slightly more noisy way of keeping me under control and out of her way. Sometimes I'd play late into the night in the basement, all by myself in the dark, just hammering random chords with gory, off-the-top-of-my-head lyrics. I'm just a confused, mixed up, self-conscious punk kid. And music is the only way I can let people know what i really feel.

Even if I'm the only one that hears it.
And I definitely don't want Gerard to hear anything I write.
He wouldn't understand. Every time I see them together, holding hands, smiling, looking deep into eachothers eyes - how I just wish it was me, us together.
I'm not so sure how I feel myself anymore.

"Loser!" Somebody yelled as I sat down at the bustop, slipping my headphones on and gradually beginning to relax as the opening notes of Die, Die My Darling rang into my ears. Looking to my left, I managed to pick out Gerard and his little brother Mikey making their way up the hill to their gothic house. I always loved Gerard's house. It was so surreal and lonely, almost dream like, something out of a horror movie. Gerard's bedroom was more like a misty attic than living space. But that's just what Gerard's like.

"Stop it," I thought to myself, turning away from Gerard's retreating back and looking to my right instead. Ray was standing beside the school gate still, fluffing his short ginger afro. I smiled to myself and kept an eye on him, hoping for him to turn around. He finally did, and waved at me. I waved back and went back into my boredom, now with nothing to occupy myself. I just kept listening to The Misfits, my hazel eyes darting around to watch everyone that walked by.

No matter what I did, my thoughts wouldn't quite stray from the party. I had a bad feeling about this party.
I just knew something bad would happen.
Something really, really bad.
And I was scared.

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

=O.
MOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I wanna know about this party =[
I want our characters to coem in =[
I wanna shoot Amelia and get Gerard =[
I wanna takeout a tree!!!! =[
So long And Goodnight **sandford park farewells**,,
Yazzay xoxoxoxoxox <33333333333

[decay;;]

Chapter Four.

Screams. Drunken shouts. Laughter. The clatter of pots and pans, and the crack of bottles smashing as the glass flew over my head. I removed a shard of glass from my dyed black hair and faced Mikey, who was sat opposite me. We were in a circle. Why?
Seven minutes in heaven.
The mother of all embarrassing and humiliatingly personal games.

It must of been the only bottle left intact in the rampaging house, sat perfectly positioned on the litter-covered carpet at the centre of our small circle. The rap music was driving me mad with it's heavy drum beats and my eyes were slowly becoming disfocused from all the unnecessary lights flashing and spinning in the room.

On the far right sat Jessica, her blonde hair full of paper streamers and her pink cheerleaders dress dirtied with smudged lipstick and booze stains. I couldn't stand her - she was so preppy, so popular, so loved by everyone. Except me, of course. It was her party, after all. So there she was, outstretching her smooth hands with the perfect red french nails to spin the bottle. I gulped and felt my heart bounce into my throat as it began to spin, its neck searching for the weaker of the group. Everyone leant inwards to see who would be spending their time in the closet, but I backed away, moving from side to side as discreetly as I could to avoid being chosen.

"It's slowing down!" I heard Amelia say in her sweet, excited voice. I cringed and snapped my eyes shut, not wanting to see. Finally, their talking died down, to be replaced by a few taunting intakes of breath.
"Iero! It's you!" Jessica giggled, clapping her hands with glee while the tall, musclebound jocks guffawed at my misfortune. Personally, I felt like guffawing at myself. Stepping out of my doomed body and kicking it in the head.

"Okay! Let's see who the unlucky person to join Iero is!" Jessica giggled with a perfect smile and span the bottle again. If possible, my heart rose higher, practically suffocating me. I coughed nervously and tried to keep as calm as possible, brushing the beads of sweat of my forehead. It kept spinning and spinning and spinning, slowing down, and then.

"Haha, awesome," Gerard smiled, shrugging his shoulders and standing up. I followed him, brushing the crumbs and glass off my knees and smiling with fake relief, hiding how I really felt - awkward. Upset. Troubled. Doomed.
Jessica leapt up and pulled us each by the hand towards the airing cupboard door, which was decorated with fairy lights and a no entry sign. It looked like somebody had thrown up all over it too.
"Right guys, just go in there for seven minutes!" She smiled happily, wrenching open the door. I peered inside. It was dark, gloomy, and full of towels and shoes. I gulped.

This was it. This would be when I wrecked everything.

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

=O.
Fan. Fucking. Tastic.
Haha,, Gerard and Frank will now sit around painting each others nails and talking out when next to haff sex =]] =[[
So Long And Goodnight...
Yazzay xoxoxoxox <3333 **sandford park farewells**
PS: MOOOOORRREEEEE.

[decay;;]

Chapter Five.

I took a last, fleeting look at the party until the door clicked shut and me and Gerard were plunged into total darkness. I leaned against the wall, making myself comfortable that I wasn't going to fall, and sighed.
"So now what?" I asked.
"Fucked if I know," Gerard replied, "Let's just chat."
"Yeah," I repeated, "Chat. Just chat."
"You okay, Frank?" He asked. I nodded a little too quickly, even though he couldn't see.
"Fine," I chanted happily, "What you wanna talk about?"

But no. I was not fine. On the surface, yeah. But deep down, I was nervous, worried, fearful, anxious, troubled...
I didn't know whether I should tell him.
Tell him what he would hate me for.
Tell him that I...

Smash.
"What the hell?" I screamed. I heard a few shuffling noises and a giggle before I heard Gerard's voice.
"Sorry," He whispered, "I wanted to make it sound like we're up to something."
I sighed. A few more crashing noises followed before we were once again in silence. I took a deep breath. I don't know what came over me, but suddenly, I wanted to tell him everything. Everything I knew, or wanted to know, everything.

"Gee?" I waited for his warm voice to answer.
"Yeah?"
An awkward silence. I sighed deeply and cursed at myself.
"I'm coming out of the closet."
Gerard chuckled a little, "No luck Frankie-boy. It's only been 4 minutes."

"That's not what I mean."

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

ook.
MUST. HAVE. MORE.
WANT. GERARD. FOR. MEEEEE.
ALLIE. MUST. GET. FRANK.
NOOOWWW!!!!!
MOOOREE!!!
**ahem**
So Long And Goodngiht...
Yazz xoxoxoxox <33333 **sandford park farewells**

OH WAIT. EDIIIIIIIIT.

YOO ARE SO EVIL.
GERARD WAY IS NOT,, AND I REAPEAT,, IS NOT,,
GERARD GAY.
FRANK CAN STICK HIS DREAMS OF GERARD UP. HIS. ASS.
I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.
Okays,, so they can make out...
THEY WILL NOT DATE.
Thats for us to do with them.

So Long And Goodngiht...
Yazz.
Yoo don't deserve sandford park farewells or xoxox <333 today.
Evil.

[decay;;]

=[[
Can't be bothered to finish this one now... good while it lasted...?
xox

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

Yup =[[
I wtill wannit though.
Yoo left it on such a cliffhanger...!
And I don't wanna do my other one,, it bores me.
xoxoxox
**SPF**

[chaz]

>:(ahh...

keep writing it

[decay;;]

Just reading this fanfic again makes me smile =]
I've decided that it's just too good an opportunity to leave behind to rot here...

Chapter Six.

The silence that followed those words must of been the longest I had ever felt in my life. Tears running silently down my cheeks, I prayed that for some reason Gerard had already forgotten what I'd said. But the problem was that Gerard is one of those people that always remember.

Finally, I spoke.
"In fact, forget it," I said with false happiness, my hands flying up to wipe the tears from my eyes, "Forget it. It's... urr... nothing, just-"
With a gentle touch, Gerard prised my wet hands away from my cheeks. Through the small shred of light streaming slowly in from the cupboard, I could just about pick out his outline.
"Frank, I... I don't know what to say," He whispered solemnly. I couldn't see his face but I knew he was staring right at me, "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I thought you would... you wouldn't appreciate... feelings like mine..." I stammered, my face burning brightly. I wondered if he could see it, I felt so hot. I felt ill.
"It's not that, not that at all... it's just... shit, Frankie, you're like my best friend..."

"I know, and I'm sorry, I can't help it, I know you've got Amelia, and I-" I wailed, but I was cut off by a knocking on the cupboard door. Mikey's voice met my ears as he called us back into the room and pulled open the cupboard door. Gerard instantly let go off my wrists and we stepped out into the neon lighting, the circle staring at us both as we blinked, tears still streaming down my face and into my mouth, leaving a sweet taste that seemed to make my insides burn.

"Awww!" Grinned Jessica sarcastically, noticing my expression, "Wouldn't Gerard let Frankie fuck him?"
That's where I cracked. Without looking at Gerard, I walked to the nearest guy and pulled his bottle of booze out of his hand, then dived at Jessica. She screamed shrilly as I knocked her to the floor and shattered the glass all over her fake little head.

And then, my face burning as I screamed, I ran right out of the building. And only when I was three roads away did I finally sit down and cry. The hardest I ever had.

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

=OO WOWWWWWW.
I likes. Alot.
FRANKIE IS RIOTING!!!
Like moi =P

YOO GOTTA LET US TAKE OUT TREES =[
YOO JUST GOTTA.
And again,, with shooting Amelia.
PRETTY PLEEEEASE??

So Long And Goodnight...
Yazz.
xoxoxox <3333

PS: Mores. NOWWWWW.

[chaz]

:Pahh keep writing this...pwease?
see im begging...

[xletxgox]

alliieeith i dont see more..why not??

[decay;;]

Chapter Seven.
Ray's POV.

I released my grip, letting the cool steering wheel spin beneath my fingers as we turned another corner, the windscreen wipers flying before my eyes to attempt to clear my vision, already obstructed by the immense darkness and rain flailing in all directions. I shook my head to move my ginger hair out of my eyes, which were darting in all directions. Trust Frank to do something like this. He isn't a force to be reckoned with when he's angry and upset. And Jessica really touched a nerve there.

The chaos he left behind him closely resembled that of a hurricane-struck building. Chairs, tables and lights had all been knocked to the floor and broken as crowds of people rushed to Jessica's aid, who had begun to bleed heavily from the head, a pool of glass surrounding her. Me and Nick left shortly after the ambulance arrived to take the bitch off to A&E, the two of us piling into my car. It was lucky that I had only just got my license, unlike Gerard. Then again, I don't think Gerard would of been to keen to help us find him. He had a lot to deal with now.

So here we were, myself and Nick, having driven around the streets of NJ aimlessly trying to find Frank. I maneuvered the car round another corner, down the road that went past West Hudson Park. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Nick squinting out of the rain-coated windows, desperately looking for any sign. I refrained from looking into the park and instead watched the small pool of light streaming slowly and mistily from the headlights.

Suddenly, I braked, my foot slamming so hard onto the pedal that I could almost feel the sole of my shoe tearing from the impact. Parked at the end of the road, totally blocking all access, was a police van.
"Oh what the f..." Nick began, wiping the windscreen with his hand and peering out. Around half a dozen police officers were milling around in what appeared to be a frenzy, holding clipboards and plastic bags containing various items. Among them were paramedics.

One officer was approaching the car, so I hastily rolled down the window, rain instantly spraying onto my face.
"Sorry Sir, the road ahead is closed until further notice," He stated in a monotone, his face completely expressionless. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel and sighed.
"Why?"
"That is information that the New Jersey State Police cannot release at this time."

"Alright, look. I'm angry, I'm worried and I'm pissed off, and I've been driving around for the last three fucking hours trying to find my missing friend. I'm in a bad mood as it is and I don't need no fucking police telling me I can't go find him. Now let me through!"
I glanced over at Nick briefly, who appeared completely shocked at my outburst. The police officer, however, merely turned and beckoned some of the officials over. I frowned at them as the formed a small circle around the car. Great. Now I was going to be arrested. Thank you, Frank Iero.

I pulled open the car door, motioning for Nick to do the same, and slammed it shut again, leaning over and pressing my face into it with my hands behind my back, ready to be cuffed. Should of known better than to pick a fight with the law.
I was stood there for a few moments, the water seeping into my skin.
"Sir, could you please come with us?" One officer asked, surveying me with mild concern. I pulled my face from the car and realised that Nick was being led by the officials into the park. Embarrassed, I wiped myself down and followed.

I wasn't sure what was happening, but all I felt was confusion as we were led to the pond. And then, with a strong feeling that felt like a huge punch in the stomach, I saw.
Paramedics were sat beside the calm, black water, seemingly in a frenzy as they yelled at one another, an ambulance parked nearby. Through the blue and red lights illuminating the scene, I could just pick out the person. And before I knew it, I was pushing my way through the paramedics to kneel beside the figure.

It was Frank. Definitely. His black hair wet and dripping over his face, pale and cold. His eyes closed, water shining on his skin in droplets, his clothes soaked and clinging to his small, thin frame. I clutched his head, pulling him of the ground, and held it beneath mine, crying into his hair, his hand lying limply on the grass.

[ricegrains&rosesxo.]

NO!!!
FRANK CAAANNNN'T BE DEAD!!!!
HE JUST CAAAAN'T!!!!!!!
WE LOVES FRANK TOO MUCHLY!!!!!!!

Haha,, Ray sounds a bit gay there.
Ooer,, poor Gerard...
So much for incorperating my little thoughty.

Mores?
Tonight.
Now.
Before reading.
'Cuz I want yoo too.
'Cuz I will be TORTURED.
Or I'll riot.
With my choking.

Gawd,,
First you kill Mikey,,
Now Frank...
Who the fucks next?? =[

So Long And Goodnight...
Yazz
xoxoxoxoxoxox <333333

[xletxgox]

allie...more pwease?